Over the weekend we saw my friends and their son, W (think 3arp), who is 8 months younger than J. J played nicely for a bit, but then decided it was time to split.
All I can think about lately is my upcoming vacation (starts Feb 4). J’s aunties have bought her an incredible amount of summer gear. Now I just have to figure out if I have warm weather clothing that fits. It’s a good problem to have.
J loves her “no.” And since I like a good ‘no’ myself, I am becoming accustomed to it.
J and Mama on the steps inside their apartment building
Mama: Come J, walking walking.
J: No walk.
Mama: Yes walk.
J: NO!WALK!
Mama: Yes, baby bear.
J: No Yes. [This means: there are no ‘yeses’ here.]
We had a good, though tiring weekend. Julia enjoyed seeing her little friend W and seeing the snow. We also went to brunch with a friend at a restaurant, where J poached most of the food off my plate, left her waffle to me [yes!!!] spilled water, shoved grapes into her mouth, broke crayons into small pieces and generally had a fun time.
She seemed to enjoy seeing Harriet last night. After finishing her dinner, she climbed into my chair, which I had vacated to help her. I was standing to her left to finish some rice.
J: [sweetly] Pease…mama…[bellowing] MOVE!
We had to laugh. At least she’ll say ‘please.’
It’s a time of growth for J. Yesterday, she sat next to me on the sofa, made eye contact, and said, “I D—_,” that is her name, except with a D replacing the J as first letter. Then she patted my shoulder and said, “mama,” in case there was any confusion there.
We had a lovely weekend. We spent time together on Saturday and then a friend of mine watched her for a short time so I could get the pedicure that she had given me as a Chanukah gift. J did well, apparently she spent a little time muttering under her breath for me, “mama, muhmuh? Mama mama?” She was also allowed to pick her own book at the store. She chose an 0livia Pig book, which has a handle.
Yesterday we went to the Sunday playspace—we were both more tired than usual and J was getting fretful and whiny…she wasn’t happy when I told her it was time to leave and popped her in the carrier, if you can actually pop a 32 lb toddler into anything. Once she realized that her whining wasn’t making any headway she took a deep breath, sighed, and said, “bagel bagel?” Since the bagels there come with the price of admission, we were able to scoop up a half a bagel on the way out, with the assistance of a man, who said that watching me try to operate on the bagel and cream cheese was “painful” and offered his assistance.
Today J is at daycare, where she’ll have music and play with the other kids. Despite the cold, I’ll go for a walk/run and try to do some organizing and reading.
Cold weather gear still holds some fascination around here:
J did a great job at her haircut on Saturday. We arrived at 10AM and she settled into the fire truck chair to watch Elmo on the DVD player. You’ll notice in the picture, the stylist actually PARTED her hair, which I found funny, because it’s not something I will do. After about 15 minutes, another child settled into the other seat, a taxi cab, to watch Y0 Gabba. It was hard for my baby to keep her eyes off the other haircut, but she pulled through nicely with only a few swats at the evil comb. She received a balloon and a 1st haircut certificate and didn’t have the required meltdown until the balloon floated up to the ceiling of the store. As I told my mom, J’s tantrums have receded from a 6 on the Tantrum Scale to a 4. I find the 4s to be increasingly manageable. I retrieved the balloon, mollified J with a piece of bagel, and we were good to go.
My mom is visiting and is enjoying her J. J hasn’t been eating much with me at mealtimes, but has cooperated nicely for Nana, which is wonderful. We all went to the park yesterday and had a good time, though J knocked into several stationary objects. According to Nana, this is a quality they share. J is so interested in what’s happening behind her that she has a lot of mishaps with poles, fences and steps.
I can’t wait to watch “Downton Abbey” tonight. I recorded it last night, so we could watch “the Good Wife”…so we have a lovely evening in front of us. Ahhh.
We were up bright and early on New Year’s Day and got to the park at about 8:30AM. I love going to the park early; I don’t need to worry about gangs of 5 year olds trying to play Lord of the Flies with J. Also, she’s getting more sure-footed everyday–it’s great relief for both of us.
As you can see, she needs a haircut. After much dithering, I made an appointment with one of the local Kidcut-type places. I hope that it isn’t torture for her–they have cars for the kids to sit in and DVDs for them to watch and I just want the rats’ nests to be out of the hair. My mom is coming to visit later that day, so even if J has a rough time, Nana Bearskinstein will help her out.
At the moment, I am home ALONE. Daycare is open and work is closed. Two of my co-workers are in the same situation–we are taking our respective babies to daycare, and having a day of R and R. J slept with me all night and woke me up at 5AM and so I need a lot of R. Happily, I made plans to go for a run with a friend an then we’ll go to brunch. I suspect my afternoon will consist of napping and cleaning because my apt is a big disaster. But I would love to go to a movie…we’ll see.
J is becoming familiar with some holidays. She likes to say, “Hanuyear!” Yesterday she saw a mini-Xmas tree at my neighbors house and said, “Hamukah!” My mother was positively gleeful when I told her about the Christmas tree confusion. I thought it was terribly cute, especially since I was at my neighbor’s house campaigning for some New Year’s Day Pernil (roast pork) and Yuca. I ate the pork for dinner, but J didn’t like it. Let me repeat that…MY DAUGHTER DOESN’T LIKE PORK! More glee from my mom. I am mystified…pork is the best thing in the land! But not to J…when I ask her if she wants dessert, she says, “MATOES!” She’s probably better off with her tomatoes, but I’ll stick with my pig.
Ha Nu Year!
The baby bear and I have had a good couple of weeks. She’s talking more and tantruming less and that works well for us both. A week and I half ago we had professional photos taken with some friends, and that went well for us–J was a champ!
This shot is very J–I love the dimples and tongue.
Earlier this week, I informed my boss that I will be looking for a new job in 2012. I do this with a lot of trepidation, but I need to be making more money. Currently I’m earning about 6% more than I did in 2004 and I need to try to change that. My boss was understanding and I’ve sent out a few resumes (which apparently I should call a CV, but I think it’s so pretentious that even youthful dumbasses applying for internships have CVs. Really? When did that happen?)
I also recently had an eye-opening trip to my [old] doctor. This is someone I like a lot, who moved from Manhattan to White Plains, NY. It took me about 2 hours to get to her via public transit. We discussed Z0loft (not right now), weight (OUCH, needs fixing right now), glucose (almost ‘pre-diabetic,’ see weight), cholesterol (HIGH), vitamins, and exercise. I’ve managed to lose a pound, but it’s slow going. Dr L has three kids and she thought that I’m doing well with kid-stress, but recommends many “lifestyle changes.” Ick. I don’t like healthy food–give me white flour any day of the week.
My favorite new vocabulary from J are two phrases that must be from daycare, “SHUT UP,” which I shut down as soon as possible and C’MON, which she likes to yell at whoever is climbing the steps behind us as we leave the subway station. As my friend S said, “I guess we know where she lives.”
Little J and Nana had a great visit. They shook hands, played with blocks, and conversed (Ah [I] SEE [sit] Down, No AH, see down, See Down, Nana!). Now that Nana is at home, J gazes lovingly at a photo of Nana in the morning. It’s cute and sad.
Last night, we had a golden moment. J had eaten all of her dinner except a bite of rice and was beginning to get restless.
Me: Do you want to get down?
J: No…Down!
Me: Do you want rice?
J: No rice!
Me: Water?
J: No water!
Me: Out?
J: No…out! More Chicken!
Me: Of course you can have more chicken! What a good job you did!
I love verbal communication.
One thing that my mom finds hilarious is J’s desire to clean up. She sings “clean up” and mutters back! Back! To herself as she puts the books on the shelf. This morning, after the bath, she gave me her towel and said, “BACK!” It’s mystifying to me, the messiest woman I know, to have a daughter who likes to tidy things up. But it’s fun and I’ll take it.
“What did I do to cause this?” I find myself thinking that 12 times a day. Every time J says, “NONONO,” or smacks another kid, or says “MINE,” I think that “better” mothers would know how to combat this. Yesterday I tried saying “Yes” to her frequently and she came back with a more prolific stream of “NONONO.” She said it from her stroller yesterday apropos of nothing at all. NONONO. She also likes to say, “I did dit,” which sounds a lot better.
I wonder how people parent small children without losing their marbles. It’s exhausting to always be on patrol for this behavior, especially when I’m tired from nighttime awakenings like this morning’s 4AM pooss drop. The pacifier hits the floor and concurrent with it hitting the floor, she starts to wail. WAHHHH WAHHH. Usually I can muster the energy to say some soothing words, but this morning I said, “please be quiet,” and so she redoubled her efforts at splitting my ear drums.
Happily, my mom is coming tomorrow and staying for almost a week. I’ll be able to have a little tiny break.
We made it to the playspace again today and J left tired and happy. I saw someone else there from Julia’s daycare. She’s someone I like, but her marital situation puzzles me; her husband rarely does anything with her and her son. That would bum me out and I know being a single mom would bum her out. Anyway, J played and ate and climbed steps and crawled and walked and sobbed and then it was time to come home, where she fell asleep almost immediately.
Later today, I think I’m going to email the daycare about Chanukah. Approximately a third of the kids are Jewish and I’m going to request permission to bring in a Menorah (candelabra) and books and decorations in December. The daycare owners like to have Santa visit. Freakin’ Santa. I really hope the kids don’t sit in his lap. ick. I hope that I can handle this in a diplomatic way, because I don’t see why I should have to pretend to celebrate Christmas, when I don’t, not even the Happy Toys version. We do Happy Toys Chanukah instead. Yeah! That’ll show “them.” The owners are from Eastern Europe and I think they feel that this Santa stuff is very American and maybe it is.
Time to eat a muffin, drink coffee and prepare for the awakening of J.
Being a single parent suits me in many ways. However, I don’t like to do everything alone with J—it’s not good for either one of us. It’s an ongoing process to organize things for/with J and others, and I am pleased with the steps I’ve taken recently.
Yesterday, on a local parenting listserv, I saw that a neighborhood non-profit is hosting holiday photography sessions. I have been wanted to have pictures of J and me taken, but hadn’t managed to organize it yet. I had a brainstorm when I saw the posting and emailed two of Julia’s “aunties,” one of whom I’ve know for over 20 years and the other for 15 years. I asked the aunties whether they would be part of the 30-minute photo shoot with us so we can have pics of J alone, with each of us individually, and as a group. Both of them got back to me right away and were VERY enthusiastic about the idea. It was really touching. So now, we have an appointment in a little over 3 weeks to get our photos taken.
Also, over the weekend, we took a trip to a local indoor play space that’s open Sunday mornings from Oct through April. It was a great success—the toys were plentiful and clean, the other parents were friendly and there were fresh delicious bagels provided. For once, I didn’t feel that the other parents were clicque-ish, rude, or self-satisfied; I had some interesting conversations with very nice people and J enjoyed it tremendously. She saw another toddler from her daycare. They wheeled around the doll stroller, shopping cart, toy vacuum cleaner and then played with the toy circular saw/drill press. She topped it off by walking up and down the four steps in the corner and stealing other kids’ bagels (oops!) Overall, I’m feeling much better than I did a few weeks ago. There are rocky moments every day, but it’s generally very rewarding. For example, after the playspace while we were eating lunch I said to J, “remember, this morning we saw S. Wasn’t that fun playing with S?” J said, “Yeah.”
I think that that was the first exchange we’ve had that involves J’s opinion about another kid. I was excited.
