The top 10 reasons that I spent 25 minutes at speed dating, but didn’t stay
10. I wasn’t meant to associate with the general public.
9. I wanted to come home to see Miss Pumpkin.
8. I’m always tired because of the marathon training.
7. Being out in public was killing me.
6. The pantyhose were killing me.
5. My “straight-up” gimlet didn’t come in a martini glass. For $8 I deserve better!
4. Gene Kelly wasn’t there–probably because he’s dead.
3. The fratboy vibe made me want to scream.
2. I waited until almost 8 and they hadn’t started yet.
and [drumroll]…the top reason I didn’t stay at speed-dating is!!
1. The guy who walked in ahead of me was wearing a T-shirt with a Playboy bunny logo and it wasn’t ironic.
October 22, 2007 at 8:57 pm
Oh geez, I’m so sorry. It sounds really yucky. I’m having a yucky night too. BLAH. (marriage isn’t so hot either)
October 22, 2007 at 9:02 pm
The book! You must write it! If Elizabeth Gilbert can make her midlife crisis into a bestseller, then your speed-dating book should be a hit! I personally will buy many copies.
October 22, 2007 at 9:57 pm
Yeah, the Playboy bunny thing would have killed the deal for me too. Hope Miss Pumpkin realized how appreciated she was when you got home.
October 22, 2007 at 11:23 pm
You can keep Gene Kelly…my dead boyfriend is Bob Mitchum. Also, I second Harriet’s command that you must write a book! Ready, begin!
October 23, 2007 at 8:41 am
I would also buy your book and give it to friends. I think the pantyhose should be the number one reason. Really, is ANY event worthy of strapping on a pair? I think not. I didn’t even wear them to get married! (I think I wore knee highs. Nobody was peeking anyway and it was 98 degrees.)
October 23, 2007 at 10:23 am
Two more weeks and number 8 won’t be an issue anymore!
I refuse to wear panty hose, they give me the hives, but then I don’t wear dresses/skirts either (give me pants and shorts anyday).
October 23, 2007 at 1:26 pm
I was actually thinking that I could send Red to YOU. She likes cats. And poo! Match made in heaven. You can come sleep in my house. I’ll toast you a waffle for breakfast.