Speed Dates part umpteen

Despite the rain, I went out to speed date last night.  I got to the venue, signed in, and got myself some wine. A little wine is a great thing.  I began to talk with Holly, a woman who was also waiting.  Some guy burst into the middle of our conversation MIDSENTENCE.  “Let me introduce myself, ladies…I’m M.”  He proceeded to dominate the conversation. When he found out that Holly was from California, he was excited and began to talk ad nauseum about LA.  It did not deter him that she was from San Francisco, and had nothing to say about LA.  At all.  Finally the evening started and we fled from M.

The bachelors were better behaved than usual, but there are always some winners.

Bachelor #1 (R):  It didn’t take much time for me to realize that there was someprettyseriousmaniahappening. He was MrMomforfiveyears andnowheisreadytogobackforhisMBA.  Did he mention that Princetonwashisalmamater?  Yes.  Speed-dating is a place where a little mania is much appreciated.  In fact, I believe that high functioning manics rule the universe.  However, I veer more toward the other end of the scale.  Another thing that worried me and made me feel old was that ManicR reminded me of the guy my mother dated when I was 3.  So…yeah. No.

Bachelor #2 (D): This six minutes proved that bad judgment is alive and well in my libido. Honestly, I don’t remember much of what this dude said.  I remember that he was cute, that he smelled of cigarettes and that, combined with the glass of wine I drank, was a danger to my “loins”.  I reminded myself that while he may be cute, going home with some emotionally stunted, recently divorced guy, who very well could have an STD…not a good idea.  But every time he leaned in (because it was SO hard to hear), I thought, “well, YEAH!”  So….NO.  NO NO NO!

Bachelor #3 (W):  Works for a publisher and does some writing and directing on the side.  He seemed personable and friendly.  We seem to have matched, so perhaps I’ll get to go on a date with him.

Bachelor #4 (E):  He had a Mullet.  A real live short on top, long and curly in the back mullet.  AND he lives in New Jersey!  A jerseyan with A MULLET.  What!?

Bachelor #5 (J):  Lives in my neighborhood and builds prototypes.  He was probably the quietest, blandest cladagh-wearer I’ve met. But since he lives near me, I figure I’ll put him down to see if we match.

Bachelor #6 (A):  This guy was strange.  He was grumbling that it was a “have 10-12 dates” night which would mean that he wouldn’t get to meet everyone.  “I want to meet everyone,” he kvetched. The idea of introducing himself to the other 2 didn’t seem to have crossed his mind.  When he heard that I worked on the topic of 0besity he asked me my “professional opinion” of Supersize Me.  It was a stretch. I was glad when it was over.

During the break, I spoke with one of the bachelors who I hadn’t met yet. He was telling me about his fondness for hypnosis. I was asking him how long it takes him to style his moustache, which was curled up at the ends.  Some Trixie overheard me and said, “well, THAT’S AN ODD question.”

I said, “It’s not everyday you meet someone with a fancy moustache…and I WANT TO KNOW [so mind your business, snothead].” He seemed like a nice guy despite the weird moustache.

Bachelor #7 (J):  This guy is a very handsome attorney, who works in the health field. We had a lot to talk about, but from the second I saw him, I suspected that he was looking for someone more decorative-looking than me.  A handsome lawyer wants to go out with Trixie, and not with 40% Cranky.  He lives on Long Island, so no great loss for me.

Bachelor #8 (Y):  This was the only Chinese-American guy there. We discussed the marathon, since we had both run it in the past.  At this point I was running out of steam.

Bachelor #9 (M): This was the Black guy who had interrupted my conversation with Holly-from-CA. Remember—Mr. LA.  He is one of those people on an endless tape loop about NJ and LI.  He asked me out of left field whether I swim. Apparently he wanted to tell me about an aquatic Center in Westbury. Drone pool drone Westbury.

B10 (T):  This is the winner of the weirdest creep of the night. We’ll call him Personal Injury Eeyore.  He’s an ambulance-chasing lawyer but, “it’s not as easy as it used to be to recover money from an auto accident,” he droned as he gazed at the table and not at me. Appropriately, he lives in Grav3send Brooklyn. A winner.

B11 (S):  Dis guy is a court officuh who lives in Staten Island. He seems like a nice guy, but is a little “white-ethnic” for me. I’m torn because I wish I weren’t such a snob…but I am.  Nothin’ in common.

B12 (R):  “Ya know they were short on men tonight, so they let me come fa’ free. I’m not supposed to tell anyone, though.”  Uh, great…thanks for letting me know.

So yeah…it was relatively painless and I was home before 10:30.  I’m trying to keep an open-mind.  Ha ha ha ha.

   

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