Hello gawgeous
I haven’t gotten any worthwhile responses from em dot com lately. Here are the responses of two, um, charming gentlemen who contacted me over the weekend:
***
Hello Beautiful, I read your profile and I find it very fascinating. You seems like a very interesting person. I would be honored to get the opportunity to know you. D–.
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My name is C–.
I love your profile & I think that you are very BEAUTIFUL.
I would love to get to know you better.
Feel free to keep in touch.
I am ready to meet you.
I hope you have the best weekend ever!!!
Peace & Love always,
C…
***
Well…good to know that I “seems” like an interesting person. On Friday, even before these lame-o emails I changed my profile and it now says this:
Things to bring with you on our date:
Intelligence
Your reading glasses
Enthusiasm
A picture of yourself as a toddler
Conversation
A list of any current or past medications
Quirkiness
Willing suspension of disbelief
A book for your ride home (unless you’re driving a car)
I’ve done this mainly because I believe that if someone has ACTUALLY read my profile, they might refer to this weird list. I can entertain myself, if nothing else.
April 14, 2008 at 10:32 am
Love that list! Do people usually respond with information about themselves? I wouldn’t be particularly interested in replying to an email that consisted solely of someone saying that I’m beautiful and fascinating. Or, do their profiles contain all that information? Clearly I’ve never used one of these sites but I’d want a guy to work a little harder. Guess that’s your point, huh? I’m particularly dense today.
April 14, 2008 at 10:41 am
Discerning daters do have more substantive replies. These “you are so lovely and charming” and blah blah blah are from indiscriminate (or undiscriminating?) losers.
Not dense…fortunate not to have to think about it.
April 14, 2008 at 11:05 am
Those emails remind me of that Turkish dude who was an internet sensation in the Late 90’s. You know. “I KISS YOU!”
April 14, 2008 at 12:52 pm
Its been a while since I got a personal ad reply, but usually the ones I got was mostly about how great THEY were and little about me. I like your list too Cranky, although you do realize you’ve knocked out all the blind guys by asking for reading glasses. P.S. I tell you what medicines bipolars take so you can cross them off your list too. You definitely don’t want bipolar guys. They crazy.
April 14, 2008 at 12:54 pm
Thank you all–you seems very beautiful and smart.
April 14, 2008 at 3:41 pm
Firstly, you ARE beautiful and smart. The guy in the second email sounds like he was signing your yearbook or something - “peace and love always”? Gag me. Your list is absolutely perfect. If no one bites and you’re willing to come to Austin for a date, I’m all yours.
April 15, 2008 at 9:03 pm
Hilarious.
Peace and love always,
Nancy
XOXO